4th & Long: SV JV White Cage the Greyhounds
After a rough few weeks, Smithson Valley JV A White got on the right side of the win column on Saturday with a convincing 24-12 win against the Boerne Greyhounds. A game won with an old school rushing attack and a hard-nosed defense. The win could not have come at a better time as things started to feel like they were unraveling for a team looking for any kind of positive energy to build on.
Things may have hit a new low last week in a 20-8 loss to the winless Kerrville Antlers trying to find momentum of their own. A loss that saw former assistant coach Garrett Owens get kicked off the chain gang for simply repeatedly asking for rules clarification from the down judge. Soon after Owens was relieved of his on-field duties, Head Coach/Offensive Coordinator/Special Teams Coordinator kindly requested clarification on the rules from the same down judge that earned him an unsportsmanlike penalty. The loss forced everyone associated with the team, past and present, looking in the mirror asking themselves “Did someone wash the luck out of my lucky underwear? Was my pre-game meal not microwaved to the same temperature this week?”.
Coach Shepperd decided to perform a purification ritual he learned from the Eskimos during his time with the Anchorage Bucs Minor League organization to reset and rid himself of his deep-rooted hate towards any kind of sports official. Much like the Native American Sweat Ceremony, the Eskimo Purification Ritual is designed for physical and spiritual cleansing. Coach Shepperd decided using the SV helmet tunnel as his sweat lodge would have a higher chance of success for helping his team get back to their winning ways. While the ritual may have provided the desired result, sitting naked in a giant inflatable helmet and chanting for six straight hours in his backyard triggered a very sternly worded letter from the HOA.
Former Chain Gang Volunteer/Assistant Coach Owens took a much simpler approach, quit the chain gang and try his hand as a play-by-play announcer. Whatever the method to right the ship, SV JV A White was able to direct the positive energy into a win.
Dylan “Babbelbekkie” Butz was a big reason the Rangers were able to pick up the win contributing with a 37-yard rushing touchdown and going 3-for-3 on extra points. “I don’t know how many tackles they recorded for me today, but more needs to be added to my stat sheet. Coach Owens wouldn’t give me any credit on the microphone. I was trying to tell him that I was the one that made the tackle.” said Butz, disapproving of his name not being called by the play-by-play announcer. “Anyway, I was happy to get a few through the uprights today. I just went through my routine every time. Grab the kicking ball and talk to it a little bit to just let it know where it’s supposed to go, line myself up and give the holder a little pep talk, count off my steps out loud, give the signal to snap the ball, charge the ball with a tribal yell, and then I yell ‘Baie dankie’ (Afrikaans for ‘Thank you very much’).” he continued. Butz continued with more details before we had to cut him off.
Easton “Easy” Bryant had a career day on both sides of the ball, blocking on the offensive line and defensively in the Greyhounds backfield, that earned him the coveted JYD (Junkyard Dog) belt. “We had a good week of practice this week. We only had two practices, and both ended early. We all think Coach Shep wasn’t feeling well this week.” Bryant said referring to preparation for this week’s game. “We had a good defensive strategy this week. We worked on pointing and yelling numbers out at them. I guess that was supposed to confuse them.” he continued as he shrugged his shoulders. “I asked the guy across from me if he knew what we were doing and he said no, so I guess it worked.”
The Rangers take on the Boerne Chargers next week to close out the season. To get another win, there needs to be more Eskimo sweating for Coach Shepperd. Maybe Coach Owens should hit up karaoke night since next week is an away game. Dylan Butz is still probably talking. The defense should continue to yell random things and make movements that confuse the opposing offense. Whatever the team did this week needs to be repeated because it resulted in a W for the Rangers.